I have to tell you, this particular blog entry has passed beyond the realm of “conundrum” and into the realm of “cursed.” This entry is actually my third attempt at this topic. My first attempt seemed to suit it's chosen title: “Coconut Conundrums.” Those of you who check-in with my blog regularly may have noticed just a lonely title posted on Thursday night. On that particular evening, I had reached the zenith of my endurance for mishaps, and simply gave up.
Well, now it is Saturday afternoon. The work week is ended, a good night's sleep has been accomplished, and a brief encounter with my inner child has left me refreshed. This morning, I had breakfast and a slow cup of coffee, after which, my little farmers and I ventured out to transplant the crowded tomato and bean plants that we had started from seeds weeks ago. After a couple hours of fun and complete filthiness, I deposited the children in a bubble bath, put on my bathing suit, and joined them in the tub. They thought this was the funniest thing they had ever seen in their short lives.
So, it is safe to say, that these light moments combined with the grand discovery that my husband had cleaned the house while I was out playing in the garden, left me ready and willing to attempt my blog once again. That was almost an hour ago, and as I type, I am experiencing some dejavous, as near the end of my second attempt, I managed to highlight the whole blog with my touchpad, and delete everything I had written. So, as triteness dictates, “third time IS the charm;” so here we go again--
back to Thursday night's cursed conundrums.
Or perhaps we must slide all the way back to Monday. My WW meeting found me 2.2 pounds lighter—a happy surprise since the Wii Fit had been playing ping-pong with my weight all week. I was excited about the week's challenge of trying some new foods, as I was getting a bit bored with my routine. About a month ago, I had shaken things up with roasted mini-bell peppers and asparagus (which I really thought I HATED and was pleasantly surprised), but I was ready for a new taste, so I planned a quick crusade into the produce department Tuesday afternoon before my honey needed the van to get to school.
The crusade was ill-fated from start to finish, (and here I leave those details purposely deleted for sheer pain of memory), and I had not the time or energy to return to my plunder until Thursday night, when in the post-bedtime silence of twilight, I found myself drawn to the open refrigerator where lay my untouched treasure—my coconut.
And here, I choose to divide my installment, hoping to avoid any further calamity that may befall this half of my blog posting. Please join me next time for "Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut."
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
True and Honest Thoughts
Today I am happy to give the "floor" of my blog, to my aerobics instructor, Linda Haught. Since January, I have been a member of her class on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays; and from her, I have learned a great deal about the value of movement and exercise. What I was more thrilled to find myself informed of recently, was her testimony of relief from years of chronic pain.
Why was this testimony so relevant to me? Well, as you read, if you have followed my blog at all, you will probably draw your own correlations and conclusions; however, I feel that Linda and I have much in common regarding the God-given discoveries and attitudes that have given us both freedom--Linda from chronic pain, and me from failure, negativity, and health problems related to obesity.
In order not to steal Linda's thunder, I will refrain from further comment, until my next blog. You can check out Linda's website at fitnessforyou.com. And without further ado, Linda's testimony (used by permission).
"Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" While I prefer to apply this verse to the human race in general, it also applies specifically to my own heart. I think I'm trusting God when I'm really not. There's sin in my heart that I don't even know is there, and God is constantly inspecting me, dealing with that sin through trials He brings into my life.
A number of years ago I was in constant back pain for a period of three years. I was referred to various doctors who told me I had congenital disk disease, herniated disks, osteoarthritis, stenosis, schlerosis, and pinched nerves. It was difficult to sleep at night and to sit through church. I had lost the ability to relax.
So I prayed for wisdom and asked the Lord to help me. After 3 years, with seemingly no answer to prayer and things just getting worse, I felt pretty desperate. My physical problem had become a spiritual problem as well. I told the Lord that I just didn't think I could take anymore and that at least one of three things had to happen. One was that he would show me how this trial could bring about any good or glorify God. Two was that he would give me relief, and three was that he would take me on home.
At the very moment I prayed that prayer God directed my eyes to a book I was walking past in a drugstore. It was a book about how chronic pain was being treated at New York University School of Medicine. The orthopedic doctors there treated pain by convincing patients that the structural abnormalities they saw on their MRIs weren't the real cause of their pain. They were just coincidental. In fact, more recently a leading orthopedic surgeon interview by Newsweek said that two people can have the exact same MRI, and one will be in excruciating pain while the other is waltzing through life like Fred Astaire.
A growing contingent of doctors and researchers are now telling us that chronic pain should be blamed on chemical messages originating with our emotions. Primarily it is caused by the view that our circumstances are unfortunate and that we are the victim of those circumstances. It involves dissatisfaction that we don't even know we have.
Nevertheless, this emotional state causes chemical messages to be sent to the brain. The brain then sends a message to the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which is responsible for circulation. The ANS picks a deteriorated or overused place in the body and impedes circulation there just enough to set up a chemical imbalance in the muscles, tendons, and ligaments. This chemical imbalance is the cause of chronic pain where no pathology, cancer, or immediate injury is involved.
I knew that this was the truth. I had already tried cortisone shots, pain medication, antidepressants, physical therapy, and a nerve block. Doctors at Lenox Hill hospital in NYC say that certain assumptions about life perpetuate chronic pain. It is most common in people who are achievement-oriented and highly conscientious and want desperately to control circumstances so that everything turns out right, (which of course is God's job).
David prayed, "Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me." The Hebrew word for "wicked [or offensive] way" means "idol," but it also refers to "a way of pain."
A study presented in the proceedings of The National Academy of Sciences looked at subjects' brains under an MRI while applying identical pain stimuli. Pain signals in all subjects went to the hypothalamus in the same way. However, the brain's interpretation varied widely among the subjects. Some felt a mild sensation while others felt intense pain. The researchers attributed this to emotional climate and suggested that people should consider nonmedical treatment for pain.
In fact Consumer Reports on Health pointed out that MRIs are dangerous because surgeons end up fixing things that aren't really responsible for pain and will only cause the spinal column to wear out faster.
I never would have believed that the cause of my pain was emotional until I had exhausted all medical options. For three years I shopped from doctor to doctor insisting on a medical solution. God chose not to simply zap the pain but to show me the cause.
The truth is that habitual thought patterns over time program our brain and emotions, influencing how we feel physically. The brain is always thinking, even when we aren't paying attention to our thoughts. When a mind with a sinful nature flies on auto pilot, it gravitates to unbiblical and unprofitable thought. God tells us to manage our thinking and to take charge of our thoughts. The best thing we can do to promote our own life-long stability is to marinate our hearts with scripture.
My spinal column is far worse today, and I've lost an inch and a half because I have no disks left. But I am in no pain, nor do I avoid any physical activity because I'm afraid of pain. And I'm not the only one who has found relief. After writing a book detailing how I got out of pain and the scriptural basis for this treatment, I received letters, phone calls, and emails from others who used the same processes and no longer have migraines, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel, heel pain, and other chronic pain syndromes.
Sometimes I ask them, "What helped you most?" And they always mention two things: constantly talking out loud, addressing their own brain, and meditating over and over on those things that are true about the cause of their pain.
Proverbs 13 tells us that "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick." Scientists tell us that a sick heart or prolonged feelings of hopelessness lower levels of endorphins and serotonin in the body. These are chemicals that maintain emotional balance and prevent life from being painful. Man's prescription is often prozac or paxil--serotonin enhancers.
Proverbs 14:30 says, "A sound heart is the life of the flesh." It means that a tranquil heart is life and health to the body. "Godliness with contentment is great gain."
THANK YOU LINDA, FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!
Why was this testimony so relevant to me? Well, as you read, if you have followed my blog at all, you will probably draw your own correlations and conclusions; however, I feel that Linda and I have much in common regarding the God-given discoveries and attitudes that have given us both freedom--Linda from chronic pain, and me from failure, negativity, and health problems related to obesity.
In order not to steal Linda's thunder, I will refrain from further comment, until my next blog. You can check out Linda's website at fitnessforyou.com. And without further ado, Linda's testimony (used by permission).
"Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" While I prefer to apply this verse to the human race in general, it also applies specifically to my own heart. I think I'm trusting God when I'm really not. There's sin in my heart that I don't even know is there, and God is constantly inspecting me, dealing with that sin through trials He brings into my life.
A number of years ago I was in constant back pain for a period of three years. I was referred to various doctors who told me I had congenital disk disease, herniated disks, osteoarthritis, stenosis, schlerosis, and pinched nerves. It was difficult to sleep at night and to sit through church. I had lost the ability to relax.
So I prayed for wisdom and asked the Lord to help me. After 3 years, with seemingly no answer to prayer and things just getting worse, I felt pretty desperate. My physical problem had become a spiritual problem as well. I told the Lord that I just didn't think I could take anymore and that at least one of three things had to happen. One was that he would show me how this trial could bring about any good or glorify God. Two was that he would give me relief, and three was that he would take me on home.
At the very moment I prayed that prayer God directed my eyes to a book I was walking past in a drugstore. It was a book about how chronic pain was being treated at New York University School of Medicine. The orthopedic doctors there treated pain by convincing patients that the structural abnormalities they saw on their MRIs weren't the real cause of their pain. They were just coincidental. In fact, more recently a leading orthopedic surgeon interview by Newsweek said that two people can have the exact same MRI, and one will be in excruciating pain while the other is waltzing through life like Fred Astaire.
A growing contingent of doctors and researchers are now telling us that chronic pain should be blamed on chemical messages originating with our emotions. Primarily it is caused by the view that our circumstances are unfortunate and that we are the victim of those circumstances. It involves dissatisfaction that we don't even know we have.
Nevertheless, this emotional state causes chemical messages to be sent to the brain. The brain then sends a message to the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which is responsible for circulation. The ANS picks a deteriorated or overused place in the body and impedes circulation there just enough to set up a chemical imbalance in the muscles, tendons, and ligaments. This chemical imbalance is the cause of chronic pain where no pathology, cancer, or immediate injury is involved.
I knew that this was the truth. I had already tried cortisone shots, pain medication, antidepressants, physical therapy, and a nerve block. Doctors at Lenox Hill hospital in NYC say that certain assumptions about life perpetuate chronic pain. It is most common in people who are achievement-oriented and highly conscientious and want desperately to control circumstances so that everything turns out right, (which of course is God's job).
David prayed, "Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me." The Hebrew word for "wicked [or offensive] way" means "idol," but it also refers to "a way of pain."
A study presented in the proceedings of The National Academy of Sciences looked at subjects' brains under an MRI while applying identical pain stimuli. Pain signals in all subjects went to the hypothalamus in the same way. However, the brain's interpretation varied widely among the subjects. Some felt a mild sensation while others felt intense pain. The researchers attributed this to emotional climate and suggested that people should consider nonmedical treatment for pain.
In fact Consumer Reports on Health pointed out that MRIs are dangerous because surgeons end up fixing things that aren't really responsible for pain and will only cause the spinal column to wear out faster.
I never would have believed that the cause of my pain was emotional until I had exhausted all medical options. For three years I shopped from doctor to doctor insisting on a medical solution. God chose not to simply zap the pain but to show me the cause.
The truth is that habitual thought patterns over time program our brain and emotions, influencing how we feel physically. The brain is always thinking, even when we aren't paying attention to our thoughts. When a mind with a sinful nature flies on auto pilot, it gravitates to unbiblical and unprofitable thought. God tells us to manage our thinking and to take charge of our thoughts. The best thing we can do to promote our own life-long stability is to marinate our hearts with scripture.
My spinal column is far worse today, and I've lost an inch and a half because I have no disks left. But I am in no pain, nor do I avoid any physical activity because I'm afraid of pain. And I'm not the only one who has found relief. After writing a book detailing how I got out of pain and the scriptural basis for this treatment, I received letters, phone calls, and emails from others who used the same processes and no longer have migraines, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel, heel pain, and other chronic pain syndromes.
Sometimes I ask them, "What helped you most?" And they always mention two things: constantly talking out loud, addressing their own brain, and meditating over and over on those things that are true about the cause of their pain.
Proverbs 13 tells us that "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick." Scientists tell us that a sick heart or prolonged feelings of hopelessness lower levels of endorphins and serotonin in the body. These are chemicals that maintain emotional balance and prevent life from being painful. Man's prescription is often prozac or paxil--serotonin enhancers.
Proverbs 14:30 says, "A sound heart is the life of the flesh." It means that a tranquil heart is life and health to the body. "Godliness with contentment is great gain."
THANK YOU LINDA, FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Skinny Epiphanies
A few days ago, Super-Mom was in a hurry to change out of her spit-up spattered daytime clothes and into some clean evening-wear. While in her phone booth, she looked down to find that in her rush, she had grabbed a pare of pants from her drawer that simply would not do. These jeans had been shoved into the dresser, simply because there was not another good place to put them; however, as they were a size too small for Super-Mom, they really weren't a viable option for wearing. By the time, Super-Mom realized her mistake, the rogue jeans were on and BUTTONED!
Lately, my life seems just full of these skinny epiphanies—-slow moments when it dawns on me that I am really THIRTY POUNDS lighter and still shrinking. Everyone of these epiphanies is a great big shot in the arm on the days that feel mundane, without progress, or just plain FAT. You know? I mean those occasional days you have, when despite any successes, you feel like you've been possessed by a double-wide trailer? Yeah. Well that was me this weekend, but the feeling didn't last long when I started listing off all my recent skinny epiphanies. Here are just a few of my happy thoughts.
1) I can now sleep on my stomach without feeling like I'm dozing on boulders.
2) I can now run without getting knocked out with my own chest.
3) I can now slide between my grocery cart and the candy rack in the check-out line at the store, without knocking all the Snickers onto the floor with my Reese's Peanut Butter butt.
4) If I feel any pain while sitting Indian style on the floor and stretching, it's not from being out of shape, it's from having ribs that can actually now make contact with my pelvic bones.
5) I can give my children horsey rides and not find out after the fact that they thought they were riding an elephant.
6) My Wii Fit Plus says "Great!" instead of "Ooooh!" when I step onto it every week.
7) Fruits and vegetables are starting to look like candy and chips to me, and the fact beyond this delusion is, the former do not give me indegestion.
8) One of the little girls that I take care of calls me "Barbie."
Well, my lifetime goal at Weight Watchers certainly isn't "lighter than air" or even "Barbie doll", but with happy thoughts like these, all Super-Mom and her skinny jeans are going to need to fly soon is a little pixie dust.
Lately, my life seems just full of these skinny epiphanies—-slow moments when it dawns on me that I am really THIRTY POUNDS lighter and still shrinking. Everyone of these epiphanies is a great big shot in the arm on the days that feel mundane, without progress, or just plain FAT. You know? I mean those occasional days you have, when despite any successes, you feel like you've been possessed by a double-wide trailer? Yeah. Well that was me this weekend, but the feeling didn't last long when I started listing off all my recent skinny epiphanies. Here are just a few of my happy thoughts.
1) I can now sleep on my stomach without feeling like I'm dozing on boulders.
2) I can now run without getting knocked out with my own chest.
3) I can now slide between my grocery cart and the candy rack in the check-out line at the store, without knocking all the Snickers onto the floor with my Reese's Peanut Butter butt.
4) If I feel any pain while sitting Indian style on the floor and stretching, it's not from being out of shape, it's from having ribs that can actually now make contact with my pelvic bones.
5) I can give my children horsey rides and not find out after the fact that they thought they were riding an elephant.
6) My Wii Fit Plus says "Great!" instead of "Ooooh!" when I step onto it every week.
7) Fruits and vegetables are starting to look like candy and chips to me, and the fact beyond this delusion is, the former do not give me indegestion.
8) One of the little girls that I take care of calls me "Barbie."
Well, my lifetime goal at Weight Watchers certainly isn't "lighter than air" or even "Barbie doll", but with happy thoughts like these, all Super-Mom and her skinny jeans are going to need to fly soon is a little pixie dust.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Wii Fit Concedes
After months of hostile communication between myself and my Wii Fit Plus, I am pleased to report that my honorable (albeit extremely cheeky) nemesis has conceded to my point of view. Well, perhaps not so much conceded as received updated data, but nevertheless, as of Tuesday night, this woman no longer has to hear "That's Obese!" at the end of every Body Test.
Now, I just get told "That's Overweight!" Not much of an improvement so far as name-calling goes, but with it's surplus syllable, perhaps a bit harder for my three year old to parrot in the moments following my Body Tests. On the quite bright side, I don't think I have to lose quite as much weight to get from Overweight to Normal weight, as I did to get from Obese to Overweight. We'll see.
Actually, the scales were kind all over town this week. At my Monday meeting, I weighed in at 175.6 pounds, which put me at 30.4 pounds lost total! THE BIG THIRTY! I remember when that number seemed so absolutely impossible, and now I've made it. Later that day, I had a very good time putting on the jeans that fit me at Christmas and modeling them for a picture that celebrated the huge empty space behind the zipper that was no longer full of me!
Then, as it is never safe to rest on one's laurels for too long, I was off into the new week, with a new set of short term goals and an eye on my overall plan. I spent Weeks 1 and 2 revisiting the importance of vitamins and good old fashioned water, and this week, as called for by the 17 week plan, I made plans to amp up my activity. As fortune would have it, it was a good week for my walking buddy and I to walk all five of our planned upon evenings. We are now up to a mile and a half per walk. In addition, I cleared my schedule and planned on all three sessions of aerobics.
Oh. And did I mention that I spring cleaned like a maniac this weekend? I tremble to think of the calories I must have burned and the activity points I earned, but happy day, I managed to get through my busy weekend at 23 points a day and only 22 flex points!
Next week promises to remedy the scarcity of my blog postings--a new month and some new meditations on the journey. In the meantime, here's to the new week, new progress, and mouthy little mat-like devices that have been put in their places at long last!
Now, I just get told "That's Overweight!" Not much of an improvement so far as name-calling goes, but with it's surplus syllable, perhaps a bit harder for my three year old to parrot in the moments following my Body Tests. On the quite bright side, I don't think I have to lose quite as much weight to get from Overweight to Normal weight, as I did to get from Obese to Overweight. We'll see.
Actually, the scales were kind all over town this week. At my Monday meeting, I weighed in at 175.6 pounds, which put me at 30.4 pounds lost total! THE BIG THIRTY! I remember when that number seemed so absolutely impossible, and now I've made it. Later that day, I had a very good time putting on the jeans that fit me at Christmas and modeling them for a picture that celebrated the huge empty space behind the zipper that was no longer full of me!
Then, as it is never safe to rest on one's laurels for too long, I was off into the new week, with a new set of short term goals and an eye on my overall plan. I spent Weeks 1 and 2 revisiting the importance of vitamins and good old fashioned water, and this week, as called for by the 17 week plan, I made plans to amp up my activity. As fortune would have it, it was a good week for my walking buddy and I to walk all five of our planned upon evenings. We are now up to a mile and a half per walk. In addition, I cleared my schedule and planned on all three sessions of aerobics.
Oh. And did I mention that I spring cleaned like a maniac this weekend? I tremble to think of the calories I must have burned and the activity points I earned, but happy day, I managed to get through my busy weekend at 23 points a day and only 22 flex points!
Next week promises to remedy the scarcity of my blog postings--a new month and some new meditations on the journey. In the meantime, here's to the new week, new progress, and mouthy little mat-like devices that have been put in their places at long last!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Bellyache in a Bottle
I never thought I'd finding myself wishing I could keep a bellyache in a bottle, but this weekend, I gave myself a torrent of tummy trouble that could be genuinely valuable in capsule form--a pill that brings on discomfort just long enough to convince myself that I really DON'T want to eat whatever it is I'm considering eating.
It all started Friday night when I took the kids to Wendy's for their traditional chicken nuggets, mandarin oranges, and chocolate milk. As has become my tradition, I had decided on a meal before ever walking through the doors of the restaurant. I was going to have a Bacon and Bleu Burger and a Diet Coke. The burger was an indulgence, but do-able for a Friday--especially since I hadn't used any of my flex points for the week.
Then, as poor karma would have it, an extra small fry made its way into our order, and so the rationalizing began. I was craving salt, and after snitching a couple of the kids' fries, I dutifully marched myself over to the nutrional information posted on the wall. By the time I returned to the table, I had talked myself into an additional seven points for the small fry. This liberty only took me three points into the flex points zone for the day. Not too shabby.
If it had ended there, I really wouldn't have been in bad shape; but later that night, I sat down to second supper with some friends who had watched my kids while I got a haircut. When I got home, I fixed supper for my husband, and standing in the light of the open refrigerator, I was struck with the plight of a poor chicken sausage. Immediately, I thought how much improved the situation of the chicken sausage would be by the presence of ketchup and a bun.
Thirty minutes later, I had done my good sausage deed for the week and elevated myself to lonely food saint by doing similar favors for a Mini Snickers and a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg. When I went to bed, I felt exactly how I deserved to feel--overstuffed. No more splurging for me. No sir. Seventeen of my flex points were gone, and I wasn't using any more.
One would think that the minor indigestion I experienced on Saturday morning would have kept me in line, but nooooo. When the kids and I headed out to Downtown Greenville for an outing with friends, they suggested that we finish our walk with an ice cream cone. Immediately pushing past misgivings that no doubt, had something to do with the fact that I had absolutely no idea how many points were in a single scoop, AND a mix-in, AND a waffle cone; I cooly remarked that I would just use my remaining flex points to cover the damage.
What followed reminds me of a portion of scripture in which an angel instructs the apostle John to ingest a book that would be sweet like honey to the taste, but bitter to the belly. Yes indeed, that Swiss Chocolate Butter Cream Waffle Cone with Reese's and Nestle Crunch Mix-ins was like honey on the tongue, but at nine o'clock that night, I still felt like I had a bicycle pump attached to my stomach.
The next day, I continued to develop a whole new respect for the bellyache. When I walked into Sunday School and found that doughnuts were in attendance near the coffee pot, I was not even tempted. At lunch, I resorted to pure ruffage, hoping to keep the bellyache at bay; and at dinner, wild horses could not have shoved the usual hot dog down my throat.
So yes, oddly enough, I AM wishing I could incapsulate this weekend's bellyache, so that everytime I think I REALLY want to throw points to the wind and eat like I used to three meals a day, seven days a week--I can experience just enough of the consequences, to return to choices that I know are GOOD for me.
Those GOOD choices are the ones that resulted in today's weigh-in of 179.2 pounds. Therefore, on the wings of success I sail into the next 17 weeks of the journey to my skinny jeans. This week, I'm starting back at the beginning with my multi-vitamin, which truth be told, I have slacked on a little. I am also comitted to walking 4 to 5 times a week with a friend, so as to prepare for a 5k walking race sometime before the end of July.
And no. My 5k race will not conclude at the ice cream shop.
It all started Friday night when I took the kids to Wendy's for their traditional chicken nuggets, mandarin oranges, and chocolate milk. As has become my tradition, I had decided on a meal before ever walking through the doors of the restaurant. I was going to have a Bacon and Bleu Burger and a Diet Coke. The burger was an indulgence, but do-able for a Friday--especially since I hadn't used any of my flex points for the week.
Then, as poor karma would have it, an extra small fry made its way into our order, and so the rationalizing began. I was craving salt, and after snitching a couple of the kids' fries, I dutifully marched myself over to the nutrional information posted on the wall. By the time I returned to the table, I had talked myself into an additional seven points for the small fry. This liberty only took me three points into the flex points zone for the day. Not too shabby.
If it had ended there, I really wouldn't have been in bad shape; but later that night, I sat down to second supper with some friends who had watched my kids while I got a haircut. When I got home, I fixed supper for my husband, and standing in the light of the open refrigerator, I was struck with the plight of a poor chicken sausage. Immediately, I thought how much improved the situation of the chicken sausage would be by the presence of ketchup and a bun.
Thirty minutes later, I had done my good sausage deed for the week and elevated myself to lonely food saint by doing similar favors for a Mini Snickers and a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg. When I went to bed, I felt exactly how I deserved to feel--overstuffed. No more splurging for me. No sir. Seventeen of my flex points were gone, and I wasn't using any more.
One would think that the minor indigestion I experienced on Saturday morning would have kept me in line, but nooooo. When the kids and I headed out to Downtown Greenville for an outing with friends, they suggested that we finish our walk with an ice cream cone. Immediately pushing past misgivings that no doubt, had something to do with the fact that I had absolutely no idea how many points were in a single scoop, AND a mix-in, AND a waffle cone; I cooly remarked that I would just use my remaining flex points to cover the damage.
What followed reminds me of a portion of scripture in which an angel instructs the apostle John to ingest a book that would be sweet like honey to the taste, but bitter to the belly. Yes indeed, that Swiss Chocolate Butter Cream Waffle Cone with Reese's and Nestle Crunch Mix-ins was like honey on the tongue, but at nine o'clock that night, I still felt like I had a bicycle pump attached to my stomach.
The next day, I continued to develop a whole new respect for the bellyache. When I walked into Sunday School and found that doughnuts were in attendance near the coffee pot, I was not even tempted. At lunch, I resorted to pure ruffage, hoping to keep the bellyache at bay; and at dinner, wild horses could not have shoved the usual hot dog down my throat.
So yes, oddly enough, I AM wishing I could incapsulate this weekend's bellyache, so that everytime I think I REALLY want to throw points to the wind and eat like I used to three meals a day, seven days a week--I can experience just enough of the consequences, to return to choices that I know are GOOD for me.
Those GOOD choices are the ones that resulted in today's weigh-in of 179.2 pounds. Therefore, on the wings of success I sail into the next 17 weeks of the journey to my skinny jeans. This week, I'm starting back at the beginning with my multi-vitamin, which truth be told, I have slacked on a little. I am also comitted to walking 4 to 5 times a week with a friend, so as to prepare for a 5k walking race sometime before the end of July.
And no. My 5k race will not conclude at the ice cream shop.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Celebrating 25 Pounds
On Tuesday of this week, I went to my Weight Watchers meeting, stood on the scale, and weighed in at 180.6 pounds. During the meeting, I recieved my keychain charm for 25 pounds lost. I know a lot of you are wondering why you haven't heard from me before now, but quite honestly, I was just enjoying a few quiet moments of absolute disbelief. If you would have told me at the New Year, that Easter weekend, I would be experiencing this kind of success and shopping off the size 16 rack, I would have laughed you out of town. It's Biblical you know, for Sarah to laugh . . .
I'm laughing now, because for the first time since college, I feel free from the cycle of food and failure that's kept me in bondage for all of these years. Finally! I don't HOPE to lose weight, or hope I MIGHT be able to lose a few more pounds; I look forward to the day when I WILL meet my weight loss goals.
Now that I'm this far down the road, I am so glad now I decided to write it all down. To all of you who have been reading and commenting along the way, I thank you for choosing to make yourselves a part of this success. I appreciate you all so much!
So, where do I go from here? Why on to the next pound, of course, and then onto the pound after that. When it comes to where I would actually like this journey to end up, I still find myself vascillating. Some days, I feel I would be perfectly happy just to make it to BMI 25--around 146 pounds; while other days, I feel peaked and primed to meet the advanced challenge of a mid-level BMI 22--around 129 pounds. As I have mentioned previously, there is something quite thrilling about the idea of weighing less than my husband! Anyway, I still have some time to decide.
In the meantime, I am taking my week of Rest and Re-evaluation a week early, as despite my victory on the scale Tuesday, I started into this week feeling rather worn out. Consequently, I opted out of aerobics until Saturday morning and got some yardwork done instead. Besides, there won't be time for rest next week as I'm starting into the Weight Watchers 5k walking challenge with my friend Darcey.
I've also been giving my weekly commitments a lot of thought. What do I like about a system of commitments, and what could I do to make them more permenent and effective? What I like, is that a weekly commitment keeps me constantly aware of what I'm doing to stay on track to reach my goals for health. What I would like to see improve, is the level at which I resolve to recall and revisit my commitments as the weeks pass.
Consequently, next week, I will be starting over at Commitment One and cycling back through 17 weeks of commitments. This time, I will strive to make each commitment a more naturally flowing part of my days. Another words, rather than keeping a commitmebnt so I can then check it off of my to-do list at the end of the day, I want to get to the end of the day and realize that I have kept my commitment because it is becoming part of who I am and what I do.
With this new approach, will I be busy and challenged for a lifetime? Probably. But that's o.k., because Weight Watchers is not a diet, it's a lifestyle. Now, just so I'm clear with where I am heading in the next 17 weeks, here's the run down from Commitment 1 to Commitment 17. When I get to 17, I'll start over again, and with 17 weeks, I can repeat the cycle 3 times in a year with a week to spare. Close enough!
Week 1: Take my multivitamin every night before bed.
Week 2: Drink water--at least 6 glasses a day
Week 3: Evaluate activity--already doing pretty good?
Amp it up this week for variety and challenge
Week 4: Blog challenge, write a couple extra entries to stay directed
Week 5: The kitchen--try a couple new foods to keep it interesting at the table
Week 6: Rest and Re-evaluation
Week 7: Positivity through laughter--re-vist the Big, Fat Greek Weddings and
Wake Up Ned Divine!
Week 8: Bad habit/good habit week--get rid of a negative & replace it with a positive
Week 9: Evaluate activity--do I need to change it up soon? Am I bored? Push a little!
Week 10: Blog challenge--Face the demons, get whining out of my system
Week 11: The kitchen--Control environment, what temptations need to disappear?
Week 12: Rest and Re-evaluation
Week 13: Positivity through gratitude, make this the week to say thanks
to friends and family who help keep me successful and sane
Week 14: Evaluate activity--Change up strenth training. Don't get predictable!
Week 15: Blog challenge--plan the Week 16 push and blog to get ready!
Week 16: The PUSH. Psyche out that plateau. Plan extra activities, fast from unnecessary flex points, and push hard to have a special victory on the scale! You can do anything once every four months. =)
Week 17: Rest, re-evaluate, and CELEBRATE successs!
So come on with me! Victory dances are always more fun when the party is well attended!
I'm laughing now, because for the first time since college, I feel free from the cycle of food and failure that's kept me in bondage for all of these years. Finally! I don't HOPE to lose weight, or hope I MIGHT be able to lose a few more pounds; I look forward to the day when I WILL meet my weight loss goals.
Now that I'm this far down the road, I am so glad now I decided to write it all down. To all of you who have been reading and commenting along the way, I thank you for choosing to make yourselves a part of this success. I appreciate you all so much!
So, where do I go from here? Why on to the next pound, of course, and then onto the pound after that. When it comes to where I would actually like this journey to end up, I still find myself vascillating. Some days, I feel I would be perfectly happy just to make it to BMI 25--around 146 pounds; while other days, I feel peaked and primed to meet the advanced challenge of a mid-level BMI 22--around 129 pounds. As I have mentioned previously, there is something quite thrilling about the idea of weighing less than my husband! Anyway, I still have some time to decide.
In the meantime, I am taking my week of Rest and Re-evaluation a week early, as despite my victory on the scale Tuesday, I started into this week feeling rather worn out. Consequently, I opted out of aerobics until Saturday morning and got some yardwork done instead. Besides, there won't be time for rest next week as I'm starting into the Weight Watchers 5k walking challenge with my friend Darcey.
I've also been giving my weekly commitments a lot of thought. What do I like about a system of commitments, and what could I do to make them more permenent and effective? What I like, is that a weekly commitment keeps me constantly aware of what I'm doing to stay on track to reach my goals for health. What I would like to see improve, is the level at which I resolve to recall and revisit my commitments as the weeks pass.
Consequently, next week, I will be starting over at Commitment One and cycling back through 17 weeks of commitments. This time, I will strive to make each commitment a more naturally flowing part of my days. Another words, rather than keeping a commitmebnt so I can then check it off of my to-do list at the end of the day, I want to get to the end of the day and realize that I have kept my commitment because it is becoming part of who I am and what I do.
With this new approach, will I be busy and challenged for a lifetime? Probably. But that's o.k., because Weight Watchers is not a diet, it's a lifestyle. Now, just so I'm clear with where I am heading in the next 17 weeks, here's the run down from Commitment 1 to Commitment 17. When I get to 17, I'll start over again, and with 17 weeks, I can repeat the cycle 3 times in a year with a week to spare. Close enough!
Week 1: Take my multivitamin every night before bed.
Week 2: Drink water--at least 6 glasses a day
Week 3: Evaluate activity--already doing pretty good?
Amp it up this week for variety and challenge
Week 4: Blog challenge, write a couple extra entries to stay directed
Week 5: The kitchen--try a couple new foods to keep it interesting at the table
Week 6: Rest and Re-evaluation
Week 7: Positivity through laughter--re-vist the Big, Fat Greek Weddings and
Wake Up Ned Divine!
Week 8: Bad habit/good habit week--get rid of a negative & replace it with a positive
Week 9: Evaluate activity--do I need to change it up soon? Am I bored? Push a little!
Week 10: Blog challenge--Face the demons, get whining out of my system
Week 11: The kitchen--Control environment, what temptations need to disappear?
Week 12: Rest and Re-evaluation
Week 13: Positivity through gratitude, make this the week to say thanks
to friends and family who help keep me successful and sane
Week 14: Evaluate activity--Change up strenth training. Don't get predictable!
Week 15: Blog challenge--plan the Week 16 push and blog to get ready!
Week 16: The PUSH. Psyche out that plateau. Plan extra activities, fast from unnecessary flex points, and push hard to have a special victory on the scale! You can do anything once every four months. =)
Week 17: Rest, re-evaluate, and CELEBRATE successs!
So come on with me! Victory dances are always more fun when the party is well attended!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Pink Rugs and Pepsi Cans
I have this set of pink bathroom rugs. A few years ago a friend of mine kindly sent them to me when she changed the color scheme of her boudoir, and they were in beautiful condition. At the time, her sons were in college and high school, while my son was just about to break upon the world scene. Little did I know, these rugs had an uncanny propensity for disaster. Either that, or I just have the world's WORST rug karma, and I'm ruling that option out, merely because I cannot face a life of tomorrows in which I have bad rug karma.
You think I'm paranoid, naturally, but you haven't even heard about my daughter's paranormal connections to every Pepsi can I ever have, and--no doubt--ever will, open. Now, I'm not an addicted consumer of diet carbonated beverages; however, I am an obsessive compulsive scheduler, and I have a diet soda scheduled into every week day at 10:15. My daughter's sub-concious day planner correspondantly prompts her to find and dump that Pepsi by 10:45. I rarely get to finish my Pepsi. Whether it's full or empty, left on a table, in the trash, or on something's fifth shelf twice as high as she is tall; she will find it, and onto my carpet go the contents. Again, we're choosing to rule out bad rug karma here.
So, if not to discuss the absolute presence of bad rug karma within these four walls, where am I going with these discouraging anecdotes? Why, to the kitchen of course--the soul of the house. Just as every good sermon grabs the attention of the sinner and takes it's discourse straight to the heart--every good diet blog begs a bit of sympathy and then heads straight to the supplier of the stomach--that is to say, the kitchen.
Another topic we've covered in our Weight Watchers meetings is controling the kitchen environment. Anotherwards, don't keep stuff around that you can't say "no" to, or that is going to tempt you in a moment of weakness, because chances are, if the stuff isn't around, your head is going to win the argument with your stomach. You are going to make a good choice from the good foods you have in your wisely stocked kitchen. Your stock, of course, will not include the pink rugs and pepsi cans of your existence that might make it practically impossible for you to succeed. After all, you might walk to the kitchen for that tasty temptation at 10:00 at night, but you're sure not going to drive to the grocery store in your pajamas for it.
We all have that food or two--for me it's cheese puffs and ice cream--that if they are present in the house, we will eat them every day until they are no longer available. It may even be that most of the time, we are successful at portioning these foods reasonably, so that no major sin of the tracker takes place and the scale is not transgressed; however, usually, before it's all over, we're sitting there with a double (or triple, God forbid) serving of whatever it is, just because we have some flex points on our hands.
Now what is this accomplishing? Maybe for someone else, this situation would not be a problem, but for me, it's entirely defeating the point. Yes, I am trying to lose weight, but more than that, I am trying to overcome the mental and emotional failings that got me here in the first place. My mind says I can have that extra ice cream because I have 18 flex points left. But at 3 points a half cup serving, my mind also knows I could do six scoops of ice cream with that kind of a flex-point bank roll. Am I gonna do it? Chances are, no. Have I done it in the past ten years? Yep.
And that's just the mental. What about the emotional? I deserve that big bowl of ice cream right? I mean, after all, I've worked my tail off all week long. I take care of six kids under four! Who's gonna blame me for having a scoop of ice cream per kid? This line of reasoning could--and has--gone on ad infinitum. Before I know it, I'm eating leftover candy from Halloween all because . . .
I take care of six kids,
and kids make laundry,
and laundry takes half of my life,
and by the time I dig myself out
I'll be 100 and too geriatric to brush my teeth or shower,
but why does that matter because no one lets me take care of basic hygene as it is because they're too busy waiting for me to cook six meals a day,
and then there's dishes left over that breed like pheremonal rabbits
And on, and on, and on.
Yes, if there are cheese puffs or ice cream options in the house, I'm going to find a reason to eat them, and then I'm going to reason a reason to eat a little more. They are the pink rugs and Pepsi cans of my kitchen. If they are present, they draw me almost surely to failure. That failure is not necessarily cataclismic and entire, but it has the potential to start a chain reactions of smaller failures--the mental and emotional failures--that could threaten to undermine my attempt as a whole.
Case and point, last week, my son begged me to buy a Mega-container of cheese balls at Sam's Club. I usually do let him choose one snack, so I let him talk me into it. Guess who ate cheese balls three nights in a row? (In my defense, I did count out a serving even though my husband laughed at me!) Then, I had to buy ice cream for a Friday night get together I was hostessing. Three half gallons of ice cream sitting in my freezer is NOT a good thing. I did fine while the ice cream was still virgin, but after the plastic seals came off on Friday night, all bets were off. I ate a serving Friday, then two servings Saturday and Sunday. I have entirely sworn off ice cream and cheese balls this week!
Like the pink rugs, if I remove them from the big picture, bad things are going to stop happening. I can't get rid of them entirely as there would be a family revolt if they caught me pouring the cheese balls in the dumpster and letting the icecream melt down the drain, but I am removing them from my menu!
So, let's stop the bad karma in it's tracks, because the only thing worse than bad rug karma, is bad SCALE karma.
You think I'm paranoid, naturally, but you haven't even heard about my daughter's paranormal connections to every Pepsi can I ever have, and--no doubt--ever will, open. Now, I'm not an addicted consumer of diet carbonated beverages; however, I am an obsessive compulsive scheduler, and I have a diet soda scheduled into every week day at 10:15. My daughter's sub-concious day planner correspondantly prompts her to find and dump that Pepsi by 10:45. I rarely get to finish my Pepsi. Whether it's full or empty, left on a table, in the trash, or on something's fifth shelf twice as high as she is tall; she will find it, and onto my carpet go the contents. Again, we're choosing to rule out bad rug karma here.
So, if not to discuss the absolute presence of bad rug karma within these four walls, where am I going with these discouraging anecdotes? Why, to the kitchen of course--the soul of the house. Just as every good sermon grabs the attention of the sinner and takes it's discourse straight to the heart--every good diet blog begs a bit of sympathy and then heads straight to the supplier of the stomach--that is to say, the kitchen.
Another topic we've covered in our Weight Watchers meetings is controling the kitchen environment. Anotherwards, don't keep stuff around that you can't say "no" to, or that is going to tempt you in a moment of weakness, because chances are, if the stuff isn't around, your head is going to win the argument with your stomach. You are going to make a good choice from the good foods you have in your wisely stocked kitchen. Your stock, of course, will not include the pink rugs and pepsi cans of your existence that might make it practically impossible for you to succeed. After all, you might walk to the kitchen for that tasty temptation at 10:00 at night, but you're sure not going to drive to the grocery store in your pajamas for it.
We all have that food or two--for me it's cheese puffs and ice cream--that if they are present in the house, we will eat them every day until they are no longer available. It may even be that most of the time, we are successful at portioning these foods reasonably, so that no major sin of the tracker takes place and the scale is not transgressed; however, usually, before it's all over, we're sitting there with a double (or triple, God forbid) serving of whatever it is, just because we have some flex points on our hands.
Now what is this accomplishing? Maybe for someone else, this situation would not be a problem, but for me, it's entirely defeating the point. Yes, I am trying to lose weight, but more than that, I am trying to overcome the mental and emotional failings that got me here in the first place. My mind says I can have that extra ice cream because I have 18 flex points left. But at 3 points a half cup serving, my mind also knows I could do six scoops of ice cream with that kind of a flex-point bank roll. Am I gonna do it? Chances are, no. Have I done it in the past ten years? Yep.
And that's just the mental. What about the emotional? I deserve that big bowl of ice cream right? I mean, after all, I've worked my tail off all week long. I take care of six kids under four! Who's gonna blame me for having a scoop of ice cream per kid? This line of reasoning could--and has--gone on ad infinitum. Before I know it, I'm eating leftover candy from Halloween all because . . .
I take care of six kids,
and kids make laundry,
and laundry takes half of my life,
and by the time I dig myself out
I'll be 100 and too geriatric to brush my teeth or shower,
but why does that matter because no one lets me take care of basic hygene as it is because they're too busy waiting for me to cook six meals a day,
and then there's dishes left over that breed like pheremonal rabbits
And on, and on, and on.
Yes, if there are cheese puffs or ice cream options in the house, I'm going to find a reason to eat them, and then I'm going to reason a reason to eat a little more. They are the pink rugs and Pepsi cans of my kitchen. If they are present, they draw me almost surely to failure. That failure is not necessarily cataclismic and entire, but it has the potential to start a chain reactions of smaller failures--the mental and emotional failures--that could threaten to undermine my attempt as a whole.
Case and point, last week, my son begged me to buy a Mega-container of cheese balls at Sam's Club. I usually do let him choose one snack, so I let him talk me into it. Guess who ate cheese balls three nights in a row? (In my defense, I did count out a serving even though my husband laughed at me!) Then, I had to buy ice cream for a Friday night get together I was hostessing. Three half gallons of ice cream sitting in my freezer is NOT a good thing. I did fine while the ice cream was still virgin, but after the plastic seals came off on Friday night, all bets were off. I ate a serving Friday, then two servings Saturday and Sunday. I have entirely sworn off ice cream and cheese balls this week!
Like the pink rugs, if I remove them from the big picture, bad things are going to stop happening. I can't get rid of them entirely as there would be a family revolt if they caught me pouring the cheese balls in the dumpster and letting the icecream melt down the drain, but I am removing them from my menu!
So, let's stop the bad karma in it's tracks, because the only thing worse than bad rug karma, is bad SCALE karma.
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