Snowed

Last week, I was snowed.  I'm not talking about the pretty stuff that fell from the sky on Friday all up and down the eastern seaboard.  I'm talking about the dictionary definition of the verb phrase which means "to overwhelm with a larger amount of something than can be conveniently dealt with." 

At the beginning of last week, I had a great victory.  On Monday morning, when I weighed in, I had lost 4.5 pounds!  I was very excited, despite the fact that I was weighing in at 5:00 in the morning.  It was the third morning I had been up that early, because my 14 month old kept waking up earlier and earlier.  I was starting to get the sense that something was wrong.  The poor kid has been congested all month.

If it had just been sleep deprivation, I might have overcome, but there was the daily grind of the kids' school work, the housework I was behind on, the letters and notes that really needed to be written and sent, the Sunday School materials that needed to be prepared, and oh yeah, this blog.  If there were four of me, I might have had a chance, or at the very least, a thrilling case of multiple personality disorder.

On Tuesday morning, the baby woke up at 4.  He had huge lumps behind his ears, so off to the doctor we went that day, and a chest x-ray showed he had early pneumonia.  The lumps behind his ears were his very swollen lymph nodes.  The doctor prescribed an antibiotic for him, but there wasn't anything the doc could do for me.  I had descended into a place that I dread.  I was exhausted, my chest hurt, and feelings of hopeless behind-ness started to create static in my brain.

Anyone who has known me for a while, knows that this is a reoccurring part of my life.  I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, and I do take a bit of medication for it.  It is a limitation for me, but not a handicap.  Let's face it.  We all have limitations, and that's what I want to address today.

What's your limitation?  What's that thing in your life that effects your health and weight loss that you don't have a whole lot of control over.  My anxiety effects my ability to stay active and focused.  Also, the medication I take can make it harder for my body to drop weight.  If you are in a similar situation, I want you to remember (as I do) the sage words of a family member of mine, who also battles anxiety:  "It is better to be HAPPY, than SKINNY." 

I'm a member of a weightloss group on facebook, and I am encouraged by reading the posts of fellow health-seekers.  I am also bolstered up by posts that signify to me that I am not alone in my struggle to shed the pounds.  Other limitations that have been shared by my sisters-against-adiposity are as follows: I've exercised all month, and I've gained weight; I'm recovering from an injury and can't get my heart-rate up like I need to when I exercise; I'm in a job situation that makes it hard to exercise; my budget is limited so I can't buy as much high health food as I'd like; I'm so frustrated, I'm AFRAID to try again; I don't have any support at home . . . "

And so on, and so forth.  We ALL have limitations.  The question is not so much how we are going to beat them, or when, or whether they will reoccur--the question is, are we willing to persevere? We will likely face set-backs, failures, and multiple frustrations, but at the end of the day; do we take our flabby saddlesore behinds back to the hitching post and remount the horse?

That is success.  Not the number on the scale, but the decision to keep trying.  Last week was a really difficult ride for me.  I had to take days off of my kids' school schedule.  I had to cancel activities.  I had to rest when my to-do list was miles long.  I had to deal with terminal brain constipation.

If you are not familiar with this malady, it happens when you start to find your mayonnaise in the panty, your peanut butter in the freezer, your ice cream in the fridge, your socks in the trash, and your trash in the laundry.  I very nearly took it to an all-time catastrophic level, when I took the letters to the mailbox when I walked the dog, and found myself within moments of dropping the dog doo-doo in the big blue box instead of the mail. I think that might be a criminal offense!

In any case, when I weighed in this morning, I had gained 2 pounds.  I am choosing not to be discouraged, because here is what went well last week.  For the most part, I made good choices.  I can only think of two times that I ate over portion.  I chose fish and salads and light dressings when I ate out.  I didn't binge on candy or cookies.  I drank lots of tea when I thought I wanted to overeat.  Early in the week, I knew I was not going to be the model Weight Watchers poster child, but I didn't use it as an excuse to eat like crazy until the next weigh-in day. 

So yes, I did gain two pounds, but I didn't gain back the whole four-and-a-half!  I also got to know a new friend and visit with an old friend.  Being with them, helped me gain perspective.  Perspective is defined as "the state of ones ideas," and I'm inclined to believe that nothing makes one's pants fit better than a healthy dose of perspective!