Ambulations and Meditations

To begin with, the report you are all waiting for. Today, I am right on track. I have eaten 24 points, and have five more planned. I get to subtract a point for my exercise this morning, so that should land me right on 28. Day 1 of the rest of my life, right?

Did you know it was 29 degrees here in South Carolina this morning? Well, I do, because I was outside at 6:30 a.m. testing out my new pedometer. This new fangled gadget tracks my steps, the distance I've traveled, and how many calories I've burned. Tomorrow should be less of a hassle, but this morning it wanted to know my stride length and weight.

Weight was easy, but you should have seen me trying to figure out my stride length at 6:15 in the morning. At that point, I think I still had drool on my chin and my shoes on the wrong feet. I was supposed to walk ten normal walking steps, measure the distance, and then divide by ten. This task seemed simple at the outset, but became more complicated when I could not find Wade's tape measure. Consequently, I ended up crawling across the floor on my hands and knees with a twelve inch ruler to satisfy the pedometer's lust for silly little details.

My next challenge was to position the pedometer upon my person in such a fashion as to induce an accurate reading. To begin with, I placed the device near my front middle--just over my hipbone (the existence of which, I still do take by faith). Apparently, my current "sea of adiposity" (thank you mom) interfered with it's proper function. I walked ten steps; the pedometer tracked two. This just would NOT do.

Next, I tried attaching the clip to my left shoe. I walked another ten steps, and woe was me; now 21 steps were recorded. As a final resort, I clipped the addled pedometer just above my left butt cheek. Ten steps later all was right in the world, my new friend clicking along happily every time the left side of the universe rose and fell. But you realize what this means? I sure hope when I lose all this weight (because I am going to lose all this weight), I lose it off my stomach before my behind, or I'm going to have major issues with a key piece of my lifestyle adjustment equipment.

Now that the pedometer was properly installed, I headed down the street at a good clip, walking through my own clouds of visible breath, and wondering if I would burn more calories because of the two pounds of scarf wrapped six times around my head. As I walked, I felt thankful to be doing three things that I consistently find it practically impossible to do without being interrupted--praying, meditating on God and His Word, and exercising.

At our WW meeting last night, we learned that positive thinking was a big part of being successful in a healthy lifestyle, and as I walked my final lap, though my fingers were numb, my nose was stiff, and my legs were icicles, I was warmed by the thought of success. I was glad I hadn't hit the snooze button, even though I was freezing my tush off.

And then, as a relation of mine was witty enough to point out this evening, I turned around.

Darn. Still there. My tush, that is.